Today I have been listening to 'The Real Me Is Thin' by Arabella Weir. It is a book about her growing up in a fat body and forever wanting to be thin. She writes that one day she asked her girl mates, of all body shapes and sizes, if they ever ate pudding in front of a man on a date or a business lunch. They all categorically said they would never eat pudding in front of man in their professional or personal dating lives. When she asked her male friends the same question they answered with 'Why the hell wouldn't I?'.
I could totally relate to this and to be honest it made me feel a bit sad. Before I met Ed I don't think I ever really felt comfortable eating in front of men (and some women) outside my family unit. Especially when I hit my teens, the idea must have seeped into my thought process malignantly. I really love food and I love eating, but somewhere along the line I learnt that this was not the ladylike thing to do. I'm not quite sure where I picked this up from, all I know is that it was not from my family. With them food was an extension of love and security and it still is today. I guess I must have just picked it up from friends at school, magazines, tv, what boys thought of me. The sadder thing is that I don't think I was even aware that I felt like this before I met Ed and grew more comfortable with him. I realised that he didn't judge me if i ate a massive plate full of food and then had pudding. He loved me whatever I ate and with this non judgemental attitude I found my ideas of what was 'ladylike' when it came to food shifting as well.
Some studies have found that woman are portrayed as more attractive and feminine when we are seen to be eating less calories. What I am not sure of is, if that's from a male or female perspective. I think women are sold the idea that our lives will be significantly better if 'We can just shift those few pounds' or 'If we can achieve THAT bikini body in 6weeks' but realistically does it change our lives? I find gossip magazines extremely depressing when they are branding red circles around celebrities highlighting their cellulite, sweat patches or any part that is completely human. It is like they are saying "look these celebrities are hideously flawed just like you", but don't worry because on the next page there's a diet that you can do so you can look like them. I'm confused already to what I am suppose to look like. So then I turn to mainstream magazines that are supposed to be about empowering women and what are the majority of articles in them about: dieting, how to please your man and how to squeeze your uncelebrity-like body into celebrity sized clothes. I'm so exhausted by this point that I'm too tired to gnaw my way through a salad and I'm so depressed all I can think of is chocolate.
So to wrap up these stray thoughts: I don't read gossip magazines anymore and if I see a women's mag with anything about dieting or keeping my man happy I walk away! I eat pudding in front of men! I drink pints of calorie filled beer in front of men! And when I feel a twinge of 'Oh god I shouldn't have eaten all of that' I give myself a mental slap and think of Germaine Greer. I think that if us ladies can start to learn how to love ourselves as we are right now and stop all that food induced worry we could go a long way in totally changing the world. The way I see it the pressures on girls growing up today are even more violent than when I was young and unless we make a stand now how can they ever learn to love themselves?
So I'll leave you with two quotes:
"Women are being jumped into believing that being thin is their natural destiny" - Betty Friedan.
"A girl must be two things, who and what she wants" - Coco Chanel.
So go forth and eat some of that delightful pudding, especially if there are men around. Because even if they don't notice (which I'm pretty sure they won't) you will feel like you have just burnt your bra.
xkx
